Written on 18 September 2014
In two days’ time, on the 20th
September 2014, it would be papa’s 75th birthday. I thank God for
the times we had with my father. Though I would wish more time with papa, but
the Lord has determined that it was not meant to be so. But we are thankful for
the things that we now have, memories of him, being…
THE HUMBLE LEADER
It is from the mouths of many
of his colleagues that we discovered the leader that papa was. He hardly talked
about what he did at this workplace. We did not even know that he was one of
the founders of IJM until much later, when he retired! When I pass IJM building
in Jalan Yong Shook Lin, I think to myself, who would still remember papa? As
time goes, even now, many would have forgotten about papa. But I have heard of the
things he has implemented in IJM and ICP, and some of the people from IJM and
ICP have shared some of these. Being the
humble man that he was, papa did not tell us such achievements.
Papa was a man with brains. Lots
of it. And papa was very hardworking. Unfortunately,
I have not taken this side of him, especially the hardworking part. I take
things the easy way and did the bare minimum to do well to remain in the first
class throughout my years in school. My
sister Yoke Mei and Yoke Ping probably got the best of papa in this aspect.
Yet, papa taught us many
valuable lessons, without really sitting us down and telling us, or giving
‘lessons’ as such. He taught by his example, and I still do them, and have
always instructed my children as well. One of them was table manners – we are
to eat what has been put before us, and do not slurp when drinking soup! One safety
measure was to always lock the car door before driving and also not to stick
any of our (my 3 younger sisters and I) body parts out of the car. Whenever I
see parents who allow their children to stick out their heads and limbs out of
the car, I truly get upset that these parents are irresponsible for allowing
their children to do that, and putting their children in danger! And….do not
get out of the car until the gate is closed, just in case someone is watching
and takes opportunity to rob. To me,
leading by example makes papa a great leader.
THE LINGUIST
Everyone who knows papa would
know of his passion for the Chinese language. Papa was English educated but he
studied Malay and Jawi (which rubbed off on me and I can read basic Jawi) on
his own and had a good command of the Malay language. I often marvel at papa’s
determination in what he put his mind to do. Maybe some did not know that he also studied
Japanese, and could speak basic Japanese, but did not pursue the language later
in life. His first love was always Chinese, and he studied Chinese diligently
in his 50’s and was able to read the Chinese newspapers and often listened to
the radio in Mandarin. I was told (after his passing) that when he was the
Managing Director of ICP, he had his staff learn Chinese for free, after work! Though many did not develop his passion, the
non-Chinese could speak some basic Mandarin.
Papa’s dialect was Hakka, but
he said follow my mum, whose dialect was Hokkien, because to him, “mummy’s
Hokkien is better than my Hakka”. At home, we often hear papa, say, “Kong
Hokkien oi!” meaning, “Speak Hokkien!”.
The tendency was, for my sisters and I, as well as the grandchildren, to
speak English, or Cantonese. When I
remember papa’s diligence in encouraging us to learn Hokkien, I say the same to
my children, “Speak mandarin! (As they are learning Mandarin) Speak Hokkien!”.
It was a pity that none of
his children were in Chinese school, as my mother was teaching in a kebangsaan school
(national school with Bahasa Malaysia as the medium) and it would be too
‘troublesome’ for her to ferry us to and from the Chinese school. I did wish
that I had gone to Chinese school, now having to take Chinese lessons!
A GENEROUS AND GIVING MAN
Papa did not have to tell us
to care for the needs of others, and to be generous, because his actions have
always taught us to be so. I saw him taking care of his mother, my grandmother,
the late Madam Thiam Lai Yean. I saw his great love and respect for Ah Ma when
she was alive, and when she was unwell. He set up the Thiam Lai Yean Foundation
for charitable purposes in 2008 in memory of his mother. He shared with us on
his 70th birthday that he learnt to give to the needs of others
because of the example of sharing and giving of Ah Ma.
This is the part of my papa I
cherish the most. It makes me want to do more, it makes me care for others even
more. And I know that this aspect of my father’s life will continue to live on
in me and my family, and in the many people who have been blessed, and is being
blessed, by my father’s legacy of giving.
A WONDERFUL FATHER
Papa was a quiet man, and have never shouted at us. Maybe because he never had too since we were generally quite good daughters : ) !! Papa never caned us. Mummy did not either. All he did was say a stern word, gave us a stare and we knew what we were supposed to do. By God's grace we turned out pretty ok! With my children, I had to cane and shout (Noel controls me in this) and think that they would need these or they will turn out to be indisciplined and rude!
When we were young, I remember that papa was very busy at work and was frequently away in Penang (with IJM and setting up ICP) but he was always home for dinner when he was in PJ. To me that was important, being with us...though most of the time he did not speak very much. Papa never spoiled us, but provided us all that we needed, especially a good education, having been through difficult times himself to have an education. It was only during his later years (especially on his 70th year and onwards) that he spoke on what happened to him when he was young (one being, he almost drowned, and another, was in a bad accident). I am glad that papa made it a point to have yearly family trips for all my sisters and our families for the past 5 years.
A FAITHFUL SERVANT OF THE
LORD
When he found out that his
health was deteriotating fast, he said, “All my Chinese wasted!” I was
wondering why he said that. Later I found many Chinese Christian books that he
had, and I know it was his desire to share his faith in Chinese, but felt that
in his passing, he would not be able to do so. Yet, in his own way, papa has
done much to serve the congregation in his church, Grace Assembly. Many times,
he has also offered his help to other Christians and I am thankful that in his
last few years, papa has been able to do his part in the Kingdom of God. Again,
he may not have told us the things he did, the humble man that he was, but I
have heard and seen his heart for the Kingdom of God. Papa’s faithfulness to
His God is what will remain for eternity.
